So I was asked last night to do the first reading for my daughter's mass today. I politely accepted the request, and when I got home and read the message that her teacher set home with her; I was full of new found faith in trying to find the chance to break through the world that I am trying to. The reading was this:
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What is a loss?
Growing up in sports we are taught to win, win, win, WIN! We train – day in and day out – to triumph. But when do we learn how to lose? What is a loss? Growing up, there was no such thing as a participation award. These days, we aren’t trained to deal with loss. It is a tough thing to accept on an individual level and even harder as a coach These days we aren’t trained to deal with a loss. It is a tough thing to be able to accept and harder to be able to be a coach and teach your players to play through the adversity that comes from it. _____________ One of my greatest passions in life is football, I played from 5th grade through my junior year. Starting on the offensive line as a sophomore with a big senior class was a huge accomplishment. Being a 300 pound linemen didn’t hurt either. We went to the the state Final Four that year, and I never understood what a loss really meant until that night. Going into the locker room and seeing all of the seniors crying because they played their last game as a Bellevue Redmen was heart wrenching. It was then that I realized that this is more than just a game, it is a feeling of not accomplishing your goals, and pleasing standing up for your brother that are in the war with you through each and every game. The next year, I got hurt and I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I had to make a choice between my health and the game. In the end, I had to turn down the opportunity to play at a higher level. A couple of years after I graduated, I was asked by the head coach to come home and coach. I never even thought about doing it but I said I would give it a shot and believe me a new passion was born that day. _____________ I coached for a year in collegiate football, which was tough having to have to find the time to devote to it, with being a full time student, father, and holding a full time job. I decided to return to the high school level joining a great coaching staff for my mentorship for my MBA. In September of 2015, we had twins a little pre-maturely but Vincent and Dominic came into this world as perfect as any father and mother could ask for. I was now a father to 5 children all under the age of 5 years old. We got to bring the twins home on a regular schedule from the hospital, but we had no idea what would happen two weeks later. My wife and I experienced something that no parent ever should. Dominic passed away in November at only 3 ½ weeks old. He passed away only knowing the love the he received from the lives that he touched with the short time that he was with us. After the loss of Dominic, I wasn’t sure if I ever even wanted to go back to coaching. The void that I now had could never amount to the feeling of a loss of any type of game that you could possibly play. I remember when my wife finally said, “Just go to practice!” Her frame of mind was that getting back to coaching was going to help my grieving process of the loss of Dominic. As I walked out to the field it was as if it happened in slow motion – every player and every coach stopped in their tracks and began to clap. Players came up to give me a hug, shake my hand and welcome me back. That year we went to the Regional Finals for our conference. I was honored to be the guest speaker at our team dinner the night before the game. One thing that I wanted to relay to all of the players was that even though we had our losses, we had overcome adversity and pushed forward to be a better football team – to be a better version of ourselves. That was what I was doing as a coach and a father. I lost one of my own children, but it was like I gained 38 other sons that year. _____________ So, what is a loss? As a father and as a coach, I know that a loss is so much more than stats. Whether on the field or off, a loss is the truest test of your strength. It is the choice between pushing through adversity and surrendering to the challenge. It is the opportunity to grow and become a better version of yourself. This is what I want to teach my players. As I mourn my son Dominic, I work – day in and day out – to keep going and become a better man, not only for myself but for my wife, my children, my players and Dominic. I know this will be a life-long challenge but I am up for it. As a coach, my mission is this: I will train you to win but I will also give you strength to lose and the determination to grow. I will give you the courage and strength to help you get over the fears of losing, and be able to better yourself. I will give you my all as long as you do the same for me. I will teach you that the things that you are being taught on the field, can also play a role in your everyday life. While you have learned these from me, these skills will help you be a better person further down the road after football. Coach Joe Tuttamore [email protected] [email protected] 567-228-7495 |
AuthorCoach Tuttamore has been a football coach for 8 years. 6 years in High school, 1 year in Division II and 1 year in Division III ArchivesCategories |